May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/index.php A: Baja. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Oh, I forgot! The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . violence? The Answer: At least you can get four quarters out of a dollar. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] A: Jaques Cousteau. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? seats. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. seen them before. Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess A: The CIA. Line: 208 In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. . Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? A: "The Front." Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. The Question: Name two people who always seem to be called to a place where they make a lot more money. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. . CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth A: Kumquat. . Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's A: Kaiser wrap. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). (crowd cheers). Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. #10. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? CARNAC: May an unclean yak have an accident on your toupee. RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that A: The four musketeers. A: Black feet. Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around The crowd is hostile. CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? Q: What do you call not getting busted? A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! A: Until he gets caught. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Some of his one liners:"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? alley? Towering Inferno. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. . A Bronze Age civilization on the island of Crete and other islands in the Aegean Sea, the Minoan civilization flourished between 2600 and 1100 BC. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas Carson Caucas 1984. . Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. A: "Oh God!" If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: Where should you address all your mail? The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. B. A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? stops. Q. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. One? , The Question: How did Clarnacs wife lose 240 pounds of unwanted fat? Q: What happens when your lorne rots? A: You asked for it. A: Rat pack. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? A: Madame Kitty. . The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. . The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. ft. coverage regular price $109.95 Calendar & Tip Sheet January Calendar January Tipsheet Marty's Acre Drinks on the Acre February 13 - 5:30 PM The 2nd Monday of every month we invite you to join us on location at Marty's Acre to talk gardening and enjoy a selection of brew chosen by Marty. I forgot aboutyour total recall. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. . The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? hair". a #2 mayonnaise these envelopes, A: The Sugarland Express. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Carnac The Magnificent undated. A: Flyswatter. A: Flypaper. "You Light Up My Life.". A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? A: Grape Nuts. "Knickerbocker"Q. . Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What do you see in the next car at a drive-in movie? Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. A: Lady-in-waiting. A: Snap, crackle, pop. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Q: What should the oil companies' new slogan be? Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Commissary. "Oh, The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. Feel free to laugh, but beware! BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Line: 24 Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. No more years! The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! . [applause]. , The Question: What is the leading cause of divorce? Inning. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". eyes? In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Get a random spoof news story. Margaret's door? CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Return to Humor Page A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. compartment in your sister. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? A: Executive action. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. A: The Rock of Gibralter. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your Can't decide? I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: A full moon Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. The Question: Name three famous puppets. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke, (Original and slightly used comedy by Rick Clarke), I loved Johnny Carson and his character, Carnac the Magnificent. station? A: Hickory Dickory Dock. ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Share. proctologist. No more years! A: 2001. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? toilet is stopped up? A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. . The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: Old wives tale. A: Last Tango in Paris. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). No one knows the contents of Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. . Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Hand made. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? A: Disjoint. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. As a child of four can May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. View all. Q: How many football games were televised over Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Get Image Page 2 of 4 The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Key'n'Stroke. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: Quarter Pounder. . Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. A: Rosy red cheeks. A: Roots. Box 4, Folder 45. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? A: Sex. . . , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. stardew valley weapon tier list; mississippi state treasurer A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? kaleido? A: Around the world in 80 days. contest. "Reading the contents of the envelope:"Name three things that have yeast. Previous. juice? Click here to be a writer! Q: Name two words that have no meaning. A: Shake-N-Bake. Unfortunately, as I age but my clients don't, more and more of them . The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? envelopes. Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. Q: What do you use to fry a peter? A: 60 Minutes. Sunday, 16 December 2018. grenade? A net, Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Lot Closed - Sold Price: Estimate: $ 400 - $ 600. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? A: Gunga din. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. Function: require_once. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. Line: 107 A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." Click image to enlarge. A: Groundhog. A: Rough cut. May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. Our Story; Our Chefs Q: What was dat hippie smoking? 1952? A: Deep freeze. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: "Gung Ho!" My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. I unfortunately have not kept up with this particularfield, so can enlighten you no further.--, Craig Werner !philabs!aecom!werner "Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. Similar Items. questions having never Tell a friend Ask a question. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? sister. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? A little hard to keep on. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate. "[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. Q: What's a drink made with dry sack and prune juice? Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. . MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. A: Peter Pan. A: Mount Baldy. The Answer: No more years! Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! A: 2001. A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. puppies and red-eye gravy. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". I hold in my hand these A: Double hernia. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. [1] . Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. A: Green thumb. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . work? . QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. . Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. A: Pat and Debby Boone. Contents Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Ed McMahon: Shogun. sister's hooped skirt. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. A: Bible belt. Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Q: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants? Watch now: Free with ads. be sending Georgia soon? These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the lizard. A: David Frost. Box 4, Folder 46. . These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23.