(edited by VopretNull) save. He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights. In general, these funny comebacks provide you with answers to all bully questions. I've been in a lot of situations where I say something and someone says "did I ask" and I don't know how to respond. "Did you parents ask for you, no". 22. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. A young couple enjoy a flaming honey bowl at Bahooka Ribs & Grog in Rosemead. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. 7 Spectacular Career Comebacks--From Real People. He then decided the comeback was on and committed to getting in shape and getting back into the halfpipe. "Oh my bad, am I to get your permission before I give my opinion? Did I invite you to my barbecue? Youre the reason nobody likes you. Overview of all the good comebacks #1. There are some annoying people who will ask who asked after you tell a story. Whether youre responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Dear Abby: I feel like a third wheel to my boyfriend and his female best friend, Dear Abby: My boyfriend's father is making me miserable, Dear Abby: My coworker keeps hitting on my husband right in front of me, Dear Abby: I like wearing women's lingerie my wife calls me 'weird', Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have never been on a real date. But recently, as I was happily eating saba mackerel at Little Tokyos Hama Sushi, I remembered the story of the very picky penguins at the Hakone-en Aquarium outside Tokyo. You could even make a joke out of it by saying something like Touch! I am sorry. So, if I Googled jerk, would your picture come up? Explore these 60 sun-fire funny comebacks and protect yourself against verbal bullying. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. This thread is archived. I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. Were you trying to insult me? Response: That was almost as painful as looking at your face. Your legs are like McDonalds, open 24/7. Im sorry, I dont date guys who think that no means convince me. "No one fucking asked but im a human being with an opinion and evidence to back it up, and the soldiers of the revolutionary war and the civil war and the world wars all fought so that I had the right to free speech and thus the right to state that opinion and the evidence I have even when no one fucking asked. 41. Become a subscriber. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. They were refusing to eat saba mackerel after cost-cutting measures forced their minders to stop buying pricier horse mackerel. I guess thats why theyre so mad. 9 years ago. So, thanks to you again! 1. I don't know, I've always wondered that myself. Yelp users havent asked any questions yet about First Watch. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Not asking the right questions is your problem, not mine. God is the Strength for Your Comebacks. Im an acquired taste. Did it come with a pole? Pretty dumb in the first place. Ouch. I sometimes wonder how someone can embarrass himself over and over again. Before we get to the comeback tips: a word of caution Tip 1. If the topic is relevant to something that they are interested in, or if it's important enough that they should care about it, tell them how. Really, what made you think this isolated comment displaying my own opinion and criticism of a media you had no part in creating was at all directed to you? And if youre not sure whether your comeback is savage enough, its better for you to not use it. The best comeback for "did I ask?" I think you owe it an apology. Now that weve got a few zingers down, dont forget how to bring the energy back up: try these 50 cheesy pickup lines guaranteed to get a laugh on for size. I love the line Lord Farquaad says to Shrek: Its rude enough being alive when no one wants you.. Here are some of our favorite savage comebacks to use in an argument: Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation where you need to use one of these comebacks, but if you do, at least youll be prepared. Before answering that question, he looks back at Southern Californias theme restaurant past, from the questionable Jail Cafe in which diners in the 1920s ate in a cell and ordered from waiters dressed as convicts to Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenbergs DIVE! One of the funniest one-liners on the Internet, if you ask me. Hi! Im sorry, were you dropped on your head as a child? St Johnstone manager Callum Davidson asked his players to be brave at half-time to stage a dramatic Scottish Premiership comeback at Kilmarnock. B*tch, please, your vagina has been used more times than Google. You might even have some fun in the process. Its impossible to underestimate you. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. -just my opinion Say this: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? The girl was being so shitty and immature that it started to draw in attention from more than just me. Theres nothing quite like the satisfaction of firing off a savage comeback, especially when it leaves your adversary reeling. If you were a spice, youd be flour. After all, theres nothing worse than trying to deliver a killer insult only to have it fall flat. 22 Flirty Comebacks to Make Me that Actually Work! Youre twice the d*ck you were yesterday. Of course, coming up with a clever comeback on the spot can be difficult, which is why its always good to have a few mean ones up your sleeve. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Why is it so important to come up with good comebacks? 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. 3. WebThis comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. Another option is to simply laugh off the insult. HA-HA-HA And I thought my jokes were bad. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. The usage of the phrase "Younger sister". Here is a list of other comebacks to use whenever. Anyway (and continue what you were saying.). So the next time someone insults you, dont let them get the best of you hit them with a savage comeback and watch them squirm. 25. 27+ Unique Witty Comebacks for Shut Up Whats the Best Reply? WebSavage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. I heard a kid tell one of his classmates that they smell like hot dog water,' shares one Buzzfeed contributor. Use this comeback if someone says something mean to you. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. 30. Youre as useful as Anne Franks drum kit. For example, if they call you stupid, you could say I may be stupid, but at least Im not ugly., If they say youre fat, you could reply Id rather be fat than ugly.. Then use your Maybe follow it up with one of these funny jokes to defuse awkward situations at work. I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. Shhhh, the adults are talking, so please keep quiet. 33. 45. Can I ask you a question? Home; About WPC. Ill have to remember that the next time Im looking for a stupid opinion. Tread carefully with this one, friends! What do you think? Web2 reviews of First Watch - Temp. Oh geez how long has my flair been blank? 9. Why on Earth would you consider roasting someone who says hi?? That's really strange. If you never want to meet people or have any friends, that's "I bow to your greater insight, my Lord". "-1,348. authenticate users, apply security measures, and prevent spam and abuse, and, display personalised ads and content based on interest profiles, measure the effectiveness of personalised ads and content, and, develop and improve our products and services. I asked the pregnant army what some of their best pregnancy comebacks were to rude questions and they did not disappoint. You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy. too bad I didn't read it.". I often share my opinions, and people say, Did I ask?. For example, when the other person chooses a restaurant you might not have wanted to go to, you really should go with his or her choice. 36. 41. Youre the reason that toothpaste tubes have instructions on them. 32+ Witty Comebacks for Who Asked, Did I Ask, Nobody Asked etc. Your face is fine but well have to put a bag over that personality. We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. I would remind them that I don't need anyone's permission to talk. I'd tell them to keep their conversations to themselves if they don't want to he So next time someone tries to bring you down, make sure you hit them with a savage comeback that will leave them reeling. You're fucking dead, kiddo.. Remember, thumbs are human beings greatest tools for a reasonuse them. That must suck. Funny comebacks dont always fit into not-so-funny situations. Youre my favorite person besides every other person Ive met. You could say "And?" An atom bomb you can just drop and walk away from. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information, as a newly revitalized culinary destination, An almost vegan food crawl with Theo Rossi, Emily the Criminal star and hummus traditionalist, Chicken-flavored ice cream? For example, British people find it hugely distasteful to disclose or even ask a person about their salary. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Buddy, theres so much you really need to know that you never ask about. These comebacks are light enough that the person will still be speaking to you afterwards, yet give you peace of mind as you "judo" thei Article by I should have said - Verbal Self Defense Made Easy. Julie analyzed each cookie and broke down what made each good. So the next time someone insults you, dont let them get the best of you use one of these comebacks and stand up for yourself! Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. Good job. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. I enjoy sharing it when the opportunity arises: Im the same age as my tongue, and a little older than my teeth. I enjoy the look of puzzlement it creates. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! WebFunny comebacks thatll leave everyone in splits The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. Here are some hall of fame insults heard by the people of Ask Reddit. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. "Ladies first" is an old-fashioned courtesy. It is sexist, but as compared with female genital mutilation, it's comparatively harmless, and general Erin Kayata joined Readers Digest as an assistant staff writer in March 2019, coming from the Stamford Advocate where she covered education. this is for my brother who never shuts up and i just wanna make him feel stupid. And yet your ignorance still demanded an answer, amazing! and the immediately talk to somebody else without giving them time to respond to it. Consider subscribing to the Los Angeles Times. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. You can change your choices at any time by clicking on the 'Privacy dashboard' links on our sites and apps. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Well, I would agree with you, but then wed both be wrong. In a dumb criminals book: A flasher came in to a laundromat and exposed himself. I cant suck something that doesnt exist. I think you owe it an apology. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. And I know what you're going to say right after I finish sending this hammer of logic straight to your senses, you miserable little fucktwat, you're going to say "who tf asked?" Another comeback that doesnt miss: Oooh, you wanna kiss me so bad. If someone is angryor obsessedenough with you, the insinuation that they in fact harbor affection towards you is all it takes to tilt a power struggle back in your favor. Youre the reason why tubes of toothpaste have instructions on them. Hey, I found your nose. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. There is no greater punisher than objectivity sometimes, you know? Springfield Oregon Building Inspection, Im sorry, I must have missed the part where your opinion mattered. Apparently, they have a vacancy in clownery they think youd be suited for. Knocks em dead every time. If youre going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. Do you ever wonder what to say, or not to say, on a first date? I dont need anyones permission to post my opinion. "No." Some cultures talk about money and how much they earn as a matter of national pride. Out of everything posted here, I think this is the most universal. Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). 11. 38. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. RELATED: 25 Of The Best Comebacks & One-Liners From The Office. 3. Ski Team camp at Copper Mountain a week before the X Games that he knew for sure. Being insulted is never fun. Why would I wait for your questions (you obviously don't know much about this)? 35. I ask because Im worried about how full of sh*t you are. Feel free to keep your mouth shut instead. Designed and Developed by BriygeDesign, Dont Know How to Respond? RITA W. IN NORTH CAROLINA, DEAR ABBY: Something I heard in a TV commercial would be a perfect response to what Ageless considers a rude question: Age is just a number. I would like to leave you with one You keep thinking to yourself, "Why didn't I say that!?" Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. Take a look at these awesome comebacks for bullies! There is the attention you were looking for. How To Take Care Of Your Digestive System, Everything you need to know about Super Bowls and the Super Bowl LVII. Your a** must be envious of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 995 Good Comebacks. You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? 20 Something 20 Somethings 30 Somethings after dark best comebacks Burns Comebacks Comedy digs Funny genius responses Hilarious how to respond humiliate Humor Insults Jokes laugh on demand laugh out loud lol Love and Relationships Offensive One-Liners Relationships Relationships & Dating roast STFU what to say Zingers The point being of course that whatever they have asked is none of their business. If you do not want us and our partners to use cookies and personal data for these additional purposes, click 'Reject all'. 5. Or you could say did I fucking stutter. WPC Overview; About Secretary; Working Council Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. First of all By Julia Pugachevsky. 6. AND I already made my point so you shouldve listened closer. I love this, I get bullied A lot and now this made me feel stronger thanks so much. 2. If twice makes a Still, it wasnt until a U.S. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. They're the best burn jokes you'll find. Here, I gift you this plant to carry around with you. Thank you for your reply. I just usually say I dont care if you asked and continue talking. But I understand its not that simple for everyone. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Here are 11 words and phrases that used to be insultsand are now compliments. Im sorry, were you talking to me? But here's hoping. This one might not be so universal, but whew, does Buzzfeed contributor hollisl4d528cac4 have one thatll stick in your mind. If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." 26. Does this new robot-staffed chocolate emporium signal a themed restaurant comeback? Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. If youre waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, cause its gonna be a really long time. Game critic and theme park expert Todd Martens mentions the now-shuttered restaurant, one of Southern Californias greatest examples of the tiki bar era, in his cover story for Sundays Weekend section on Toothsome Chocolate Emporium at CityWalk just outside Universal Studios Hollywood. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality in real life. She and Foods audience engagement editor, Amy Wong, who is also a formidable cookie baker, then asked readers to describe what they want most in a chocolate chip cookie. Still have questions? The Trinity Presbyterian girls won their first AHSAA basketball state championship in a 52-48 late comeback win over Clements in the 3A title game. You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. See additional information. Id give you a nasty look but you already have one. Youre so ugly, you couldnt even arouse suspicion. Did your mom drop you on your head when you were a baby? After all, its always better to walk away from a fight than to get caught up in one. When shes not writing articles about useful facts and pop culture, you can find Erin enjoying the local theater scene and working toward her goal of reading 50 books a year. If laughter is medicine, your face must be curing the world. Bullying should not be tolerated in the first place, but at least you now have some tools with which to defend yourself. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. 1.1k. And even if it was, why would I have to ask you? Personally, were a fan of @generalgreviousdatingsims I need to take this call just hang on a second. The next two highest-ranking characteristics were with a hint of salt (68%) and gooey (65%). Try the recipe Julie came up with and let us know on our @latimesfood Instagram account what you think and if you have a better recipe. It started in October when Julie went through our archives and tested nine different chocolate chip cookie recipes from many sources, including Clementines Annie Miller, Sycamore Kitchens Karen Hatfield and former Times Food editor Amy Scattergood. There's no universal comeback, because sometimes they're correct that some information you've offered is irrelevant to the conversation, or that they don't want to talk about a topic, period. Best Comebacks Ever Funny Insults And Comebacks Snappy Comebacks Clever Comebacks Funny Comebacks Savage Comebacks Comebacks Sassy Sassy Quotes Sarcastic Quotes. ", Then you just get flamed for having an outburst or a TL;DR. 23. I would call you a fucking clown but clowns are either funny or scary and you're neither and you'll never be either in the eyes of anyone. RELATED:These 6 Personality Types Always Need To Have The Last Word And Win Every Argument. 31. "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one." You cant see the f*ck you in my smile, can you? Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: (Your reaction) Thank you! Look in a mirror. Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. Wait, you as in the person, or u as in the alphabet? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Some day youll go farand I really hope you stay there. Watch popular content from the following creators: factz4youxx(@factz4youxx), Why dont you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma? Someday youll go farand I really hope you stay there. Become a verbal vendetta masterheres how to craft the perfect comeback. "The older I get the less surprised I think I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day." Regularly-updated list of Comeback insults and Comeback comebacks, sorted by latest, highest rated, and random. What is a good comeback for "Did I ask"? Regardless of their form, mean comebacks are a great way to stand up for yourself and put someone in their place. If you're feeling extra ambitious and slightly willing to risk your job, there are even zingers for the notorious cranky customer. Youd struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. something witty please :) Answer Save. Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? Ill never forget the first time we met. Of course, its important to be strategic about when you use your comebacks. You may not feel confident in your comebacks at first, but with practice, youll be able to shut down anyone who dares insult you. IN CONNECTICUT, DEAR ABBY: When Im asked how old I am, I answer, When I was born, the rainbow was black and white. NOT YOUR BUSINESS IN KANSAS, DEAR ABBY: I once received a birthday card that dealt with the issue perfectly. "I too asked you first from last!!" :D I am just writing some stuff because stupid Quora wants more explanation on this. David Letterman: Im not as dumb as I look. This must be starting signs of old age. 15. The lawyer tries to save face with I think we got off on the wrong foot here, and Brockovich quickly counters with Thats all you got lady, two wrong feet and ugly shoes. Save it for the next time someone is rude to you and tries to cry wrong foot. This is definitely one of those movies with the best one-liners youll want to say over and over. Consider that the Vietnamese restaurant Pho 87 in Chinatown saw its gas bill jump from $800 in December to $8,000 in February. Me neither. You cant be a d*ck simply because you have one. "No, i'm not asking, i'm just telling". We all know (only too well from bitter experience) that anyone who says "I asked you first" is sniffing for an argument and not really interested i You may not be the dumbest person on Earth, but you better hope he doesnt die. You could be nice and simply say, "I don't have a strong view one way or the other." WebThere's no universal comeback, because sometimes they're correct that some information you've offered is irrelevant to the conversation, or that they don't want to talk about a topic, period. Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless. 50. They want their (blank) back never loses. When I first grew my hair out in high school, someone said to me: Did your barber die?, 41. This calls for you to have a comeback for each and every occasion there is out there. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you is another great one to keep in your pocket when someone is being willfully ignorant. Thats pretty funny! You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. Assistant Food Editor Danielle Dorsey has put together a mapped guide to the best places to eat and drink in L.A. right now, collected from the writing of Foods Bill Addison, Stephanie Breijo and Jenn Harris. Insults for Comeback. You gain or lose absolutely nothing by reading my comment, except for a bit of time. 17. WebBest Comebacks For Your Enemies. WebDiscover short videos related to i asked you first comebacks on TikTok. First of all, dogs cant ask dumb questions like that Dylan M (@dylanmicky_d) October 17, 2017. (also from Reddit user). The first response made me nod my head instinctively. Comeback: You show have held your thought forever. ? Womens Parliamentary Caucus (WPC) is a non-partisan informal forum for women parliamentarians of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. Saying one of these 10 smart things when someone insults you can help to defuse the situation: Its never easy to handle an insult well. "Did god ask for you to live, no". I hope your fingers change into fishing hooks, and you get an itch in your balls. 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) By Mlanie Berliet , February 22nd 2016 41. She would say to anyone inquiring, Ill excuse you for asking, if youll excuse me for not answering. JANE M. IN FLORIDA. I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. Check our our top ten comeback lists. Might as well take a trip to the moon while you're at it. Know your place. Savage comebacks are witty, cutting responses that can leave your tormentor speechless. It had a picture of a falcon on it and it read, If someone asks your age, tell them what Farquart the Talking Falcon says: None of your falcon business! DAVID S. IN GEORGIA. Get your answers by asking now. If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. While some comebacks are simply witty one-liners, others require quick-thinking and sharp wit to come up with an effective response on the spot. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. Didnt ask. And Im here to tell you now it aint funny, its just predictable. Today. I took my wife for breakfast this morning to a restaurant close by. The waitress brought us to our booth. As I went to sit down, I looked at You got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. 99% Upvoted. Here are some groan-worthy jokes you cant help but laugh at. I see youre still stuck in middle school. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. 1. Youre like the first slice of bread in the packet, everyone touches you but no one wants you. I mean this very sediment of people saying didnt ask to things that dont require permission to say is not only stupid but also incredibly easy to counter. Harrison ruled when it came to good comebacks in her writing. Think again, fucker. If they do ask, you could explain to them that they seem like they are in a bad mood. Read next: 32+ Witty Comebacks for Who Asked, Did I Ask, Nobody Asked etc. I often share my opinions, and people say, Did I ask?. Says the person who cant even spell their own name. 18. Theyre asking for you. 34. It looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Some of the funny answers to the tough first date questions below will assist you in being less tongue tied.. Help us out by voting for what you think its the best comeback to the dating and hook up questions below. One option is to give a savage comeback. James Michener and Thor Heyerdahl cashed in on 50s tiki-mania; so did Trader Vic and Don the Beachcomber.. To make up for all the oxygen you waste. Worry about your eyebrows. And then watch this persons eyebrows bounce up in alarm. Im sorry you were offended when I called you a h*e. I didnt know it was a secret. 29. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. Youre as sharp as a rubber ball. This story has been shared 143,672 times. Im not answering you, Im telling you. 5. Here is my list of comebacks, just so youre always prepared. To create this article, 45 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. But you said it's time to let go of twice. You might like: 27+ Unique Witty Comebacks for Shut Up Whats the Best Reply? Plus, Harris eats at Bar Chelou and Le Chateau de Tien Tao, two places that are establishing Pasadena as a newly revitalized culinary destination. Me: Singing along to Fleetwood Mac. Ive been thinking about the old tiki-themed restaurant Bahooka Ribs & Grog in Rosemead this week. You look like a video game character whose face hasnt loaded all the way yet. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. However you cannot even use that argument because you took the time to reply to my comment. Here is my list of comebacks, just so youre always prepared. Relevance. Time to take you back to the enclosure now. Actors playing the role of the robot Jacques and his traveling companion Penelope at the new steampunk-themed restaurant Toothsome Chocolate Emporium at Universal Studios City Walk. First of all, its really important to stay calm, even if your first instinct is to get angry and punch back. In an episode of Mad Men, an adversarial colleague tells Don, I feel bad for you. To which Don cooly replies, I dont think about you at all. Ouch. I had a wet dream about you. Mine is unlisted. CAROLE R. IN ARIZONA, DEAR ABBY: As a child I heard and still remember my moms answer to that question. 3. in Century City from the 1990s. Shut the fuck up and go back to the storm drain where your mother abandoned you. Better than anybody here. Luckily, my boss had a sense of humor, shares one Buzzfeed contributor.